Beluga Sense- Attaining a More Powerful You

Beluga Sense- Attaining a More Powerful You

First and foremost identify your goals and then detail them in writing.  Focus on key points and what it is about the goal that attracts you.  List your expectations, the results that you want to gain when you attain that goal. If you are so inclined discreetly confide in a trusted person to get an unbiased view.

Next you must honestly explore all the possible reasons, inhibitions and stumbling blocks that prevent you from attaining your goal.  Address and rebuke that negative inner voice and affirm that you will take full responsibility for your actions even when faced with variable outcomes because in the interim unimagined and unforeseen possibilities may manifest which will also pave the way to certain success.

To prepare for this list three possible alternative routes that can lead you to the same destination.

Survey the requirements needed to implement each of these alternatives then pursue the most applicable of these options.

Keep your focus on your final goal as you progress towards it, one step at a time.

Discretion is warranted when dealing with unsupportive individuals. If they persist in bringing up negative arguments counter to your aspirations, say, “I would have rather preferred your support on this matter; however, since we have such different opinions, let us agree to disagree.” and change the subject. Then surround yourself with supportive friends.

The End.

 

Beluga Sense- Be Your Own Parent

Beluga Sense- Be Your Own Parent

Countless books have been written on the subject of how best to rear children.  Proper etiquette is taught alongside discipline, common sense, survival skills and the nourishment of self esteem. It is the parent’s general wishes that these attributes would endow each growing child with the requisite tools to help them conform to societal norms and be productive, successful beings.

The parents, who bear the greatest part of this responsibility, in all fairness, usually function as well as they know and up to the level they, themselves, have been taught. Fortunately, nothing is permanent; nothing is written in stone.  Fundamental changes in ideology, society, family, country do occur, and alter the age old beliefs, notions and behaviours sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.  Bear in mind also that each being is different and varied in their desires, needs and wants and in the path they choose in their eternal pursuit of life’s happiness.

If you are dissatisfied with your present life and feel constrained in your present situation, it may be a good time to ask yourself, “Is the way I’ve  been taught working for or against me? “

Look back at your childhood and remember when your current hurtful behaviour began.  Perhaps you were trained to be selfish, ambitious and greedy or timid, insecure and self-deprecating. These adverse characteristics at may be holding you back from attaining success and happiness in your present personal and professional life.  They may need adjusting or purging before happiness can be achieved.  As an adult you now hold the power to alter your destiny.  Discard that oppressive monkey on your back.

The alternative would be to continue to behave as a helpless child, dependent on others to make the key decisions for you. You alone know your own desires, innate strengths and abilities. Take charge and utilize them, terminating your unhappy circumstances.  It is within your means to be happy.

Beluga Sense- Inner Contentment

Beluga Sense- Inner Contentment

Material possessions are merely icing on a cake; true happiness is derived from deep within.  Your attitude and the importance you place on mere chattels will determine the measure of your contentment; use these prized objects only as tools only to make your life more pleasant, meanwhile knowing that you’ll be just as happy without these frivolous items.  Material fortune only gives you a false sense of security, for fortune can vanish at any time.  If someone far younger than you has achieved the success you crave simply remind yourself that each one’s rate of advance is different. You shall have what you desire, all in good time.  Factor in your individuality and you’ll discover all the unperceived differences in your previously perceived as identical goals.  Focus on your present happiness and other people’s successes will seem trivial in comparison.

On the other hand, drawing on a cornucopia of inner virtues such as: the ability to love, reason, exhibit compassion, practice tolerance and mercy, derive strength from your faith, show perseverance, live in peace, will see you through any period of discontent or adversity.

In your lifetime, you’ve probably have heard this saying many a time: that the most precious things in life:  your health, friends and family, a glorious sunset, green meadows, the fresh smell of grass after a rain, snow capped mountains, spring flowers , in short all God’s creations, are what really counts and (guess what?) they are often  free.  Furthermore, any worthwhile person’s true value lies in their ability to give rather than to receive.  It’s hard to disagree with this sentiment; but then, why should you?   Now with this in mind, when close associates, friends or family members brag about their ample possessions, they are in fact exposing their own inadequacies or lack of self- worth and revealing that these gilded inanimate things are the most important part of them.  Don’t be ensnared into competing with them, for without the responsibility of hording or preserving these things you will have ample time and freedom to concentrate on what really matters: your own self, your loved ones and all the glorious, natural wonders of our world.

Keep in mind that thing that is really important, our unique blue planet, and the precious home to all of us. It is there to be loved, enjoyed and preserved.  Be happy always and without reserve, enjoy all the natural blessings of this world.

 

Beluga Sense- Be safe

Beluga Sense- Be safe

Are you one of those people that are highly sensitive to criticism? If you are, you are in danger of internalizing this hurt and becoming overly self- critical as well.   However you can break this destructive characteristic by being more forgiving of your shortcomings.  Be a compassionate, understanding friend to yourself, not a judge.  Give yourself permission to let go of your critical traits and take things in stride.

As a discerning being, we can assert that we know ourselves best; but in this lurks the danger of assuming that everyone else thinks the same way we do.  In truth we can never assume what lies in another’s heart and what they are thinking or feeling unless we ask them directly. Knowledge is the surest way to bridge the uncertainty and differences between sentient beings. Intolerance rises from the lack of willingness to acknowledge other people’s needs wants or beliefs.

Unfortunately bad people really do exist anywhere and everywhere.  Not everyone is as nice, honest or trustworthy as we would like him or her to be. Such people oftentimes are out of control with their feelings. They use their ability to hurt indiscriminately as long as they get what they want at any cost. This could have stemmed from an unfulfilled desire or need in early growing and development years when their innate character was formed. Perhaps they lacked proper role models.  Because of their stunted emotional development they have failed to acquire the necessary feeling of empathy for others.

For self-defence against such people you need to be fully aware of the circumstances.  You are only victimized when you are lured to that irresistible draw of wanting something for nothing, when you are vulnerable or underestimate the danger.  Neglecting a background check, a thorough investigation of the Company, project or an individual or taking them on their word, not tallying their word with past accounts of behaviour can have an undesirable or even detrimental result.  That’s when victimization occurs.

Empathy is the feeling that allows an individual the innate sensitivity to identify with another’s emotions, joy or hardships and pain.  One resists hurting another because there is a deep understanding of the other.  Without empathy, morals, true conscience and self control are stunted or absent.

Here are some cautionary measures for you to follow:

• Don’t assume that anyone who is nice to you have your best interest at heart.
• Ascertain first that the person’s words match their behaviour.
• Remember the saying: “If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is.”
• Fulfillment of emotional needs should never have a monetary cost.

Beluga Sense- Body requisites

Beluga Sense- Body requisites

The human body, comprised of liquid, skin and bones, is a temple we dwell in as we go about our daily routines.  Life can be pleasant or unpleasant depending on the health of this temple.  Doesn’t it make sense therefore that we should take good care of our bodies? The best way to do this is to pay attention to our body’s needs, for it knows best.  Aside from general upkeep like proper nourishment, sleep, hygiene, exercise and so forth, we must be in tune to the innate feelings and the intuitive senses that warn us, often through psychic or physical pain, of the sudden irregularities that manifest.  It is an indicator that something vital needs attending to.  Simply put ignoring what feels good or bad is asking for trouble.

Meanwhile pacing oneself is crucial: some work, some play, some rest.  This sort of varied schedule works best for most people; and yes, you can manage this despite your hectic daily schedule. The quality of life depends on it. Remember that fatigue makes the whole world look much worse than it is. What’s more it makes us vulnerable to what others say and do. It numbs our faculties, making it hard for us to reason well or respond, to defend or counter any offensive.  Aren’t resolutions to problems and pressing issues arrived at far more quickly after a good long repose?    Don’t they seem more manageable when you are well rested?  Here are some other helpful hints to better manage your daily routine:

• You can’t do or be everywhere all the time so learn to effectively delegate what tasks you can at home or at work.
• There is no need to race, as things will get done soon enough, so give yourself special permission to take it easy.
• More importantly in the course of day allow some playtime for an effective respite.  Adults too often forget this important regeneration tool that is vital to good health.
• A vacation or a time off is also imperative for building yourself up.  It takes a while to recuperate from a long period of neglect.

Good mental and physical health to you all.

Bo.

Beluga Sense- Reserve Some Time for Fun

Beluga Sense- Reserve Some Time for Fun

It’s important to set goals and dreams, but the actual recipe for happiness rests in your true satisfaction with what you are doing at present. You could be perfectly content but then be swayed or easily thrown off track by the good intentions of others with their implications that what you are now doing  pales in comparison to your true aptitude.  Discontent creeping in robs you of your present contentment and you hasten towards their chosen goal.  Listen politely, but stay firm in your convictions; you alone know what’s best for you.

Another aspect of attaining your goals is setting the pace that best suits you.   You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.  Life is not about getting to your next destination post haste; it’s about enjoying the sights, smells and having pleasant experiences along the way. That is what living is.

The most well adjusted adult is the one that always reserves time for having fun. Remember the saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” so do not forsake this essential part of living.

Plan some recreational time regularly.  As a responsible person it’s up to you to take charge and set limits on your work and play.  There will always be more work to fill in your time. No one ever, at the end of their allotted time, said, “I should have worked more.”

Take heed and reserve a defined number of hours to do with as you desire and don’t let anything intrude on this well earned respite.

Beluga Sense- Boundaries

Beluga Sense-Boundaries

There are two kinds of boundaries that affect each and every one of us. One is the physical space that we keep around ourselves that allows us to be comfortable; the other can be called a psychological space.

If you feel someone has come physically too close to you, even if that person does not touch you, or if someone’s physical touch feels uncomfortable, it is clear that  they have crossed into your physical space.

In matters of living and planning your goals, someone crosses into your psychological space when he or she, even with best of intentions, tries to tell you what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and generally tries to run your life.

Another type of boundary crosser tells you how you feel or how you should feel.  Advertising, social media, people in authority, friends or foe can all interfere with your key decision making. Are we totally immune to those magazine, radio or Television ads? We are constantly bombarded with standards of beauty, how we should look, feel, behave, what to eat and so forth.

In this free society, remember that no one can tell you what to do. Only you know what you what is best for you, what within reason makes you comfortable and what feel and what you want to do.  You have the right to be your own guidance councillor, your own protector. No one but you knows for sure where your comfortable zone is and where your personal boundaries lie.

Bo.

Beluga Sense-Value the Self

Beluga Sense- Value the Self

Value the Self

 

Society has always outwardly frowned upon the acts and deeds of selfish individuals. Moral conduct dictates that the model being is supposed to be modest and humble, yet this has rarely been followed by those who have achieved power, wealth and success.

Before I digress, let me state that we have to be primarily responsible for our own selves; for only we can determine our shortcomings, strengths, needs and feelings in the pursuit of good health, joy and stellar well-being.  No one else can accurately predict our true desires, likes or dislikes.  When we take good care of ourselves physically and mentally then, through our reinforced and flourishing physique and psyche we are then able to extend this to others.

There will be times when you have to safeguard your principles, especially when you are faced with contrarian, self-righteous offensives. Watch out for the pitfalls, the obvious snares when they accuse you of being selfish in order to compel you to do their bidding.  The moment you show the least weakness, their subsequent edicts on what you ought to do, act, feel and say (while they discount your worth and exaggerate your limitations) are, in fact, a trap designed to sap your strength and most ardent resolve.  At such times reiterate this firm resolution: “I take full responsibility for myself and my actions!”, then respond outwardly, “That’s what you feel; however, I know differently. “

Trust your instincts, and be guided by your gut feeling, it will never lead you astray.  Intuition is the major guidepost that provides information through your feelings instead of your thoughts.  If you doubt yourself it’s because earlier on, perhaps in childhood, you’ve been taught otherwise.  Every child instinctively feels confident until taught differently.  If in their early years they happened to be mistreated, often criticised or neglected, however unintentionally, that individual from there on learns to distrust his or her feelings.  The rational mind of a child refuses to accept the hurt caused by a trusted adult, parent, teacher or any other such authority or custodian.  Consequently, for emotional protection they learn to distrust their own judgement, discount their inner feelings, until eventually a general distrust becomes the norm.

Did you ever berate yourself emotionally whenever someone has faulted you for the way you do things? At such times, visualize yourself as a small child and at the same time become your own parent. Give that child unconditional love, comfort and unlimited protection.  Let him or her know that you will support them in all their endeavours that you are aware that they are doing their best and everything will be all right.

And when you are faced with someone trying to prop up his or her status at your expense, defuse the attempt by bringing the truth out in the open.

Never fear, you shall meet your personal or professional goals in your own time and way.  What you may perceive as an obstacle or setback could actually be in your best interest if it was not at the right time.

When it does happen, it’s because you are ready for it!

Beluga Sense-Be Self-reliant

Beluga Sense- Be Self-reliant

Sooner or later it happens to all of us.  A time may come when you will find yourself disappointed or let down because the people you cared about or depended upon weren’t there when you most needed them.  But in fact the most important person has always been there for you, and that is you.

Well-adjusted individuals love themselves; therefore, in dealing with every situation, particularly those times of disquiet filled with uncertainty and dismay, they confront adversity boldly and armed with self assurance,  become  their  own cheerleader or confidante.  There is a no more reliable source than one’s own self.  Whisper inwardly to yourself soothing, consoling words of solace and encouragement.  It can without fail deliver the necessary measure of support for your decision or particular choice at each and every turn.

We all have an innate need to feel safe. What’s imperative to know is that none of us want to feel abandoned; therefore we strive to control and manipulate people and events around us, precariously balancing them until problems surface with a bang. Then we become occupied once again with searching for that someone or something to give us the answer that will keep us from feeling vulnerable and isolated.  There is however a big difference between asking for counsel on your options and desperately seeking relief. Look for that reassurance within yourself because you are the one reliable person who is always there to unequivocally provide it.

Before you turn to someone else with your dilemma, stop and ask yourself, “Is this a crisis that I really need guidance and advice on or is it that I’m only afraid?”  You know you are anxious and fearful when there is an unmistakable knot in the pit of your stomach.

Here are some helpful tips to cope with or eradicate unreasonable fear:

It’s always best to find a quiet spot, get comfortable then take few moments to visualize yourself in your favourite place.  Imagine yourself as two people with one of you comforting the other.  If you lack the necessary imagination, sit in front of a mirror and talk to your image as if it’s another person.  Imagine yourself as two people with one of you comforting the other.  Imagine your reflection coaching you, “I’m all ears.  I know what’s best for you. You can always count on me to set you on the right course.” or similar words of encouragement.

At the end of it, you’ll find yourself meeting your problems head on with the firm self-assurance of one who knows that they are truly safe.

Beluga Sense- Addressing Fear

Beluga Sense- Addressing Fear

The fear addressed here is not the kind that is life threatening. It’s the kind of fear that exists when you are faced with new, difficult issues, agendas or any other exceptional social situations.

Pay heed to any sensation of fear for it, more often than not, indicates that something is terribly wrong with your circumstances. Furthermore it would be most unwise to make decisions or initiate action when you are in a state of fear. When frightened you may not properly assess all the information you need to make an appropriate decision. It may also be that you are trying to do something that goes against your nature or your beliefs. In any case it is a clear indication that something is not quite right.  In such cases your fear is an instrument of protection, a strong beacon that warns you against the prevalent danger.  Don’t discount the state of being frozen with fear either, for with our minds so clouded with fear, we are likely to get into more trouble than we would if we didn’t act at all.

Another form of protection occurs when you have an old emotional scar that needs to be addressed; something that had happened in childhood and since then has silently festered in the recesses of your subconscious.  Fear becomes a trigger, a beneficial device that highlights or exposes this hidden handicap. This sort of person needs to heal the child within before he or she can appropriately deal with the situation as an adult.

Oftentimes fear manifests when you are faced with a daunting task and you lack the necessary skills for the job’s successful completion.  In this case fear is justified as it aptly prevents you from getting in way over your head.  All is not lost however; after facing this sort of legitimate fear you can then go on to remedy the situation.

Do not hesitate to ask for more time when you are feeling indecisive.  Haste makes waste.   Declare your wishes boldly; that you need to think things through, sort out the pertinent information before you can give the most productive and apt response.

It is advisable therefore to first discern the source of your fear and then deal with it.  Once you are composed, decisions and any action are easily achieved. So next time you find yourself afraid for some reason, steal time to reassert, “There is a reason that I’m fearful.”  Then search inwardly for the answers; it will come to you.